ok.. so i want someone to tell me i'm awesome, and that i'm the one they want to see during the day.

too much to ask?

i absolutly loved this day

and this night was incredible as well

and now dave matthews, and a cup of hot chocolate are perfectly ending the day

things really haven't been to bad lately. its a step up from the completely crappy week that i had last week.

  volleyball is going fantastic. i'm exhausted and practices are freakin killing me, but aghh i love it. odd? oh well, thats just how i am
  church.. i'm much more positive and i know spc is a phone call away and that is really reassuring. there is still that side of me that misses her so much and she's not even gone. i just feel like time was cut so short, but then again i have no clue what God has in store for my life. He completely knows what he's doing.
   school.. haha had a pretty rough start coming back, but i'm really making an effort and i'm going to do well. i'm sure of it! 
   friends.. ha, never even an issue. they always make things better.

i guess thats about it. i just needed to step back and really let God handle everything, its not something i can do alone or at all for that matter. our youth group has really gotten fond of the song into marvelous light.. and i think thats our song for 2006. we see that bright light ahead and for the first time we aren't that scared to follow our hearts and as henry would say carry our crosses and not be ashamed to show what are beliefs are.

thank you God for all you give me.

[	Current Mood	|	sleepy	]
[	Current Music	|	Here I Go Again On My Own	]

so.. yeah these past few days have completely sucked. i'm not gonna lie about it.. and its a downer cause i was trying so hard to make 2006 freakishly awesome. cause sadly time doesn't stand still and people will soon be um.. going to africa for short periods of time.

as most everyone knows sarah chandler is gonna be leaving the church. and that really really put a damper on my week. so many feelings came with that news, and i have a better understanding of a lot of what happened, but it still hurts so bad. i know i'm going to get through this.. with the help of my incredible friends, and not to mention eric is so amazing.. and he is going to do so much for our church. its just different for me.. many people have had 'sarahs' in their lives.. and you all know how hard it is to say good-bye to them.. almost like losing a part of you.
(not to mention the day after i found out i was so upset i completely bombed a math test.. oh well)

tonight was pretty good.. saw a movie with laura, coop, and nicole. AGHH so much fun... memoirs of a geisha was amazing.. you have to see it.. I WANT A LIFE OF MY OWN...haha. then we went the the last bit of the oak mtn. v. spain park.. oak mtn won.. then i headed over to cal's.. which was an interesting night where the cop got mad at me and poor cal... i love you. we watched pootie tang.. interesting. haha thats all i can say.. then I, YES ME JENK JENK, beat trey in pool.. *cough cough thanks cal cough cough*. headed home after that.. now i'm basically here.. starving b/c i haven't eaten in oh... nine hours. but i'm so lazy,

why do i feel guilty about this.. when its what i'm supposed to do